Sunday, May 23, 2010

Letting Go

I think my month’s hiatus from blogging represents my denial of my upcoming transition. Subconsciously, I have been refusing to acknowledge that a chapter of my life is coming to a close. Perhaps, by abandoning my blog, I thought I could postpone the inevitable. But alas, I find myself in a two-thirds empty apartment, having already said tearful farewells to some, and nervously anticipating many more goodbyes in the upcoming weeks… I might as well kick-start the blog again.

Last week, my move became especially real. In the same day I shipped most of my clothes, shoes, books, and household items to Uganda (with the help of a fantastic packing man at the local post office) and I got my new teaching assignment for next year (grades 7, 9, 11, and 12 MYP and DP English). The next day, I had the entire soccer team over for our end of season banquet and awards ceremony. All the girls wrote incredibly kind notes of appreciation and well wishes that were assembled into a book. As I sat on my couch reading their letters, the realization that these girls would no longer by in my life began to sink in. The nervous anticipation of distance has also begun to seep into my social life. Two times in the last week, typical conversations with friends have spiraled into collective crying over departures. Whether I want to deny it or not, in 2 weeks I am going to be leaving the country and community that has been my home for the last 3 years!

There are so many things and people I am going to miss! What will life be like when some of my closest friends no longer have their classrooms besides mine? Or when my coffee buddies and Thursday night supper club crew are continents away? Things just won’t be the same without Click girls, soccer logistics, Home Church, dorm kids, pottery class, rooftop BBQs, or the best students anyone could ask for!

While I want to revel in every moment, the grieving process has begun. I know that home will be meaningful and Uganda will be a new adventure, but I am not quite ready to let go of Korea just yet.